Our Tribe

Throughout this whole journey so far, we’ve been surrounded by angels in different forms, our tribe. Each person has touched our family in a different way, helping, supporting, encouraging, meeting different needs. I don’t know how people with no support manage to make it through, I know for certain we wouldn’t be handling things as well as we have been if we didn’t have our tribe.

In the days leading up to surgery, things were a little stressful. I think it was more fear of the unknown than it was actual fear of surgery and how he would do with all of that. Surgery was scheduled for a Monday morning, and the Friday before, our car radiator blew and needed to be replaced. My husband and I know a lot about a lot of things, cars are not one of the things either of knows much about, fortunately for us, my best friends husband is a mechanic and he said buy the part and bring the car over and I’ll fix it. He worked his day job all day, came home and spent the next 3 hours fixing my car at no charge. To say it was huge relief and a huge blessing to us, is an understatement.

The next morning we woke up to a message from another one of our good friends saying, hey if you don’t have plans, we’d like to provide childcare and send you to a hotel for the night and pay for a nice dinner out for you guys. Cue all the tears. This family was going through a huge battle of their own at the time and we were doing what we could to be there and support them in their fight and they were doing the same for us. We quickly arranged for another of our good friends to come stay with our animals for the day and night and packed our overnight bags and headed up the hill to Prescott. Once we dropped off the kids and made our way to our hotel, we were so excited to just have some down time and not have to worry about anything. We had a lovely hotel room and the view was great.

After relaxing for a while, we decided to head out and explore a little bit before we had to be at the restaurant for our reservation. We walked through a few of the antique shops in downtown Prescott and enjoyed not having to rush through or try to keep little 4 year old hands off of everything, we just got to be. We then made our way over to this little Italian restaurant called Papa’s, it was awesome. Great food, great service, the atmosphere was amazing.

After dinner we went back to the hotel and watched a movie and fell asleep, exciting I know 😉 the next morning we got up and showered and went and picked up the kids. We made our way home and Sean had to start his prep for surgery, unfortunately that meant fasting and lots of bathroom time. We really just tried to relax as much as possible and did the last minute check of his bags for the hospital until it was time to go to bed. The next morning was when it all really would start the next long phase of dealing with the reality of cancer.

Glitter and Fluff and Girly Stuff

I remember fondly the days when I didn’t spend all of my waking moments worrying about cancer and chemo and medical bills and everything that has come into our lives in the last 3 months. I remember when I got to just talk about makeup and ‘fluff’, the girly stuff I so love. Nowadays, I feel guilty taking any time for myself if I’m being honest. I know, it’s just as important for me, the caregiver, the one supporting the warrior, to take time to recharge and reset, but it doesn’t come without a certain measure of guilt…I’m just sayin.

One thing I truly love is makeup. You may not get it, but some of you might…I’ll try to explain.

Makeup is pretty, it’s feminine, it’s glamorous, is flirty, sassy, sexy, fresh…or I should say, those are all things that I feel when I am able to take time to play with makeup. In my every day life, it’s anything but pretty, feminine, glamorous, flirty, sassy, sexy, or fresh. It’s tiresome, sweaty, dirty, stinky, nasty. I’m forever cleaning up messes made by my 4 year old tornado, or wiping a poopy butt, or cleaning something sticky off every surface of all the things in my house, I always have a stain on my shirt, doesn’t matter old or new, if I’m wearing it, it’s got a stain…because kids.

Makeup is an escape. I don’t think about all of the scary things happening around me, I sit at my vanity and tune everything else out except for the way my makeup smells, the texture of it, the way a makeup brush or sponge feels against my face, the beautiful colors in an eye shadow palette.

It doesn’t have to be expensive makeup, or luxury brands…I’m just as happy to get a drugstore, or affordable product to play with and test out. It’s transforming the way I see myself, knowing that I am still the same person with or without all the makeup and glitter, but feeling like a better version of myself, when I have my ‘face on’.

Makeup is something that is just for me. Only me. No one else gets to play with my makeup, it’s not something I have to share, like virtually everything else in my life…as a mom, that’s what we do right? It’s nice to have this one thing just for me, to help me get away for a little while and escape the reality that is my life currently.

Life Update…Brain Dump…Picture Dump

Life just keeps happening, no matter how we try to slow it down.  It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, and we’ve just been trying to live and deal with everything this cancer diagnosis has been throwing at us the best way we can.  This post might be a little all over the place, but I’m just trying to brain dump and get it out of my head, if that makes sense.

After surgery, we met with his oncologist, she went over the reports from the surgeon and the pathology, told us his stage was 3c, went over all the specifics of chemo, what protocol he’d be on, side effects to expect, it was a lot to take in…like every appointment before it.

We decided tacos and tequila were in order for dinner that night…you gotta do what you gotta do to cope sometimes and for me, that was it.  Trying to just breathe and be present in each moment is hard when the moments are a reminder that cancer has invaded your family and threatened to tear your world apart.

A few weeks after surgery to remove the tumor and surrounding lymph nodes, we got the call that we needed to schedule a repeat CT, just to see what a baseline would be with no cancer present before chemo, and a port placement so they can administer chemo and do blood draws through the port instead of having to poke him with an IV every time they’d need to get blood or getting chemo, this will save his veins and it gets the chemo to his heart faster, which in turn pumps it through his system faster.  We got the call that we’d need to do these two things around 4 in the afternoon and by 9 the next morning we were in the hospital to get it done.


It was fairly quick and painless, that’s what Sean tells me anyway, we were home by lunch and that was that.  He said he had a little tenderness, like someone had punched him in the chest…of course, he did this without sedation as is becoming standard for him…he did his colonoscopy with no sedation too.  Anyhoo, port is in, CT is done, the only thing left to do is start chemo.

Aside from that, we’ve been trying to finally get around to those things that we all seem to put off for another day…

We’ve been married for 14 years, this is the very first time in our marriage that we have a bedroom with actual grown up furniture and decor on the walls and matching night stands, like it all looks like it’s meant to be together.  I love going into our room and seeing my beautiful bed and everything all tidy.  It makes me smile to know that we’ve put thought and effort into creating a space for us.

Another project we recently finished was our entry way and gallery wall.  That light fixture in the entry way…it used to be a huge glass ball reminiscent of when this house was first built 30 years ago.  We finally picked a new light fixture and replaced the old one, got our beautiful hutch setup, and redid our gallery wall to include a canvas from our recent session with my good friend, Sarah.  It makes my heart happy to look over and see my entry and gallery wall.


If there’s one thing you take from this post, let it be this, don’t wait until you or your loved one has gotten a life altering diagnosis to do things for you, things that you’ve been talking about doing for a long time.  Do them now!  Enjoy your life, every day, every moment is a gift.

I know how this ends…

I’ve been a HOT mess today. Sobbing every time I turn around. My head is pounding, my eyes are all crusty. I am having trouble dealing today.

When you have to sign a form saying basically we are only treating you to go into remission, not to cure, and that there is a risk of death by chemo….it’s just one more time, another punch to the gut and the wind gets knocked out of you as you realize the seriousness of everything.

I know people live long lives in remission, but it’s also one of those things that our lives will NEVER ever be the same. Every single time something comes up with him, that fear it is cancer is the first place our minds will go. And it’s extremely likely that he will get cancer again after this.

Cancer robs you of everything. Peace, sanity, health, finances, sleep, security. I haven’t been sleeping. I’ve developed GERD, I’m a fucking wreck all the time and I’m just trying to do my best, but fuck. It’s been one thing after another that has completely stolen every shred of any thought I had that life was good and we were going to be okay.

This is what I’ve looked like 95% of today. Yesterday sucked but today was apparently my day to process everything from yesterday. I feel like I’ve definitely been doing ok, like just trying to feel what I feel and move on, gotta walk through it can’t go around it, but today was bad.

Sean had his first CT after surgery, he had his port placed that they’ll use to give him chemo so it won’t be an iv in his arm that’ll blow his veins, this way it’ll go straight to his heart to pump through his system faster. Anyway then we had chemo class in the afternoon. That was overwhelming to say the least. Then you get a stack of papers that list the most common side effects of each of the chemo drugs he’ll be getting. Then they tell you don’t worry there are grants and programs to help you pay for all this but we’ll get to that later. Then they take you on a tour of the chemo treatment room where there’s just dozens of chairs with all the medical equipment lined up and patients receiving their treatment and they tell you to bring a blanket or your tablet or a book because you’ll spend hours and hours there each time you have to get treatment.

I didn’t have time to process any of this yesterday. But boy did it hit me today. Also I am pretty certain I’ve got some PTSD from caring for his mom at the end of her life from cancer. Because when people tell me “he’ll be ok, he’s gonna beat this” I just want to scream nothing is ever going to be ok again! I know how this ends. I know what this looks like when it comes for him again and again. I am just not ok today.

I want my 64 years like he promised

We celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary this week, we got married on Leap Day 2004, so while we technically didn’t have an anniversary this year it was more important this year than previous years to celebrate the in between’s.

At the time we got engaged, he was still living in Iowa and I was here, in Phoenix. He proposed Halloween weekend 2003 and we of course started talking wedding dates pretty soon after. Sean had a date in mind, pretty quickly and asked if I’d be okay with February 29th. Wow, that was fast! That would only give us a few short months to get him moved from the midwest back out to the valley, and plan a wedding, and get him a job, and find us an apartment…those are a lot of big things to make happen in a 4 month time frame. Once he told me his reason for wanting that date, I of course said I was fine with it.

See, Sean’s grandparents had gotten married on that date many years before and they’d celebrated 16 anniversaries but 64 years of wedded bliss. He figured if it worked for them, it would work for us. Plus, they’d both passed before we’d met and he wanted a way to include them in the special day. So, see, I really couldn’t have refused him that date and still claim to have a heart 😉

We started making the plans and doing the things, and ended up getting him moved back out here by Christmas. We moved into our apartment not long after the first of the year and then it was just a matter of the final touches on the wedding planning. Once the day finally arrived, it was beautiful. Blue skies and gorgeous weather, as we are accustomed to in the valley of the sun. We had an outdoor wedding and everything was really exactly as it should have been.

Now, here we are all those years later, never having thought we would have to deal with some of the things we’ve dealt with in our early years of marriage, like being caregivers for his mother as she passed from cancer. Or being a caregiver to my aging grandmother who was sliding further into Alzheimer’s and dealing with bipolar disorder at the same time. Or having an aunt and uncle of his pass from different types of cancers.

Once we started learning of the different types of cancers in his family history, I became more and more concerned that eventually this would enter our world…I mean, you cannot have so many people in your family with all different types of cancers and think you’ll be the one it doesn’t touch. It was a huge worry for me, I’m not sure if it was as big in his mind. I can tell you with certainty I never expected to get the dreaded cancer diagnosis as early in life as we got it though, I thought we’d have 20 more years before we’d hear it.

Now, as I sit here contemplating life and having celebrated this 14th year of marriage…I would be lying if I said there isn’t some level of fear….I hope and pray and I have to believe that he will be here to celebrate many more anniversaries with me, just like his grandparents had…I want my 64 years with him like he promised.

Life Lately

I thought I’d something a little different for this week’s post. The last few posts have been pretty heavy content so I want to lighten it up a little! Today I’m just doing a photo dump, life lately, what’s been happening in our lives this month…call it what you will but that is the gist of it.

We did a thing. Hannah had been asking since before school let out if she maintained good grades if we’d color her hair over the summer. I agreed and she held up her part of the deal, so we went to Sally’s so she could pick out what color she wanted. She chose a light purple and I really love how it turned out.

We celebrated this guy’s birthday on the 10th and took him out for a fun night at Grimaldi’s Pizza at Park West. We’d never been to this restaurant but had heard good things and we weren’t disappointed.

It’s that time of year when we get a crap ton of weather alerts on our phones. Every time there’s a monsoon storm coming, you can hear all of our phones start buzzing with the weather alerts to take cover and make sure you don’t blow away. So that’s fun.

There has been a ton of swimming. Which I am cool with, it gets us out of the house and outside without dying of heat stroke 😉

Lastly, there’s been lots of crockpot meals because it’s just too dang hot to cook! Spaghetti is one of our favorites and it makes the house smell amazing to have a sauce cooking from early morning all through the day. Yum!

I hope y’all enjoyed a little look at our life lately!

Enough

Enough.

You know how sometimes, you feel like life is good, everything is moving along with minimal bumps in the road and you feel good about the direction your life is headed. Then there are other times when you feel like God is throwing nearly everything at you to see how you handle it? We are in one of those times, the not so good times. The times that really make you wonder what could possibly be coming your way after all of this crap to make it necessary to go through and even still, knowing in your head and heart that the things you’re going through right now are not nearly as bad as another persons journey is right now. That brings me to today’s topic that’s on my heart and mind.

I know I’ve talked a little bit before of my husband’s job, he works in a level 1 trauma unit in Phoenix. It keeps him busy and he sees all the usual things you’d think he would see working in a busy ER in a big city like Phoenix. He sees the really minor stuff like your average cold and flu type stuff to the really big intense stuff like heart attacks, car accident victims, gunshots, stabbings, domestic violence victims, and drownings. He has days that are longer and more intense physically, mentally, and emotionally than most of us can possibly fathom. He’s been physically attacked, scratched, hit, kicked, bitten; he’s had to wrestle, tackle, and fight off patients who are attacking him and other staff. He’s sat at the bedside of old people as they took their last breath so they wouldn’t die alone and he’s done chest compressions on patients long after there was no hope of bringing them back to life so their family would know they did everything they possibly could have to save them. He has cradled the bodies of babies who’ve died so their parents would know that their baby was being loved and cared for in that deep dark moment of their worst nightmare.

This week was one of those weeks. The ones that make you question why would anyone do that job? So many traumas. So many codes. So many mentally ill who had to be wrestled into restraints so they wouldn’t hurt themselves or others in the ER. That was just one day. He came home weary, just totally spent from his 12 hour shift. His body was tired and sore from wrestling a few patients into restraints, from doing loads of chest compressions, his feet sore from running from one room to another to take care of whatever was needed in that moment. But he got up the next day and donned his teal scrubs and headed back to the ER to do it all again…whatever the universe was going to throw their way. Just so happened that another trauma code came in, but this one was hard. Kids are always hard for people in EMS. Ask any cop, firefighter/medic/emt, or the staff in an ER. After 90 minutes of trying to save this child, they just couldn’t save him.

And then that team who fought to save that child and lost, had to carry on and go about the rest of their day treating countless other patients who don’t generally stop to think about what happens in other rooms in the ER. They have to wait in the waiting room for longer than what they think is right, so they cop and attitude with the staff…the techs, nurses, and doctors who are doing everything they know how to bring people back from the dead and you there with your cough, you think you have the right to curse, yell, demean, degrade, in some cases, get physical, or even in some other cases threaten the life of one of these people who are doing everything they can to hold it together and treat you and make you well….

So, tonight is going to be one of those nights when my husband comes home weary, with tears in his eyes and heaviness in his heart because they couldn’t bring back a little child to his mama. That mama obviously has it so much worse, but I hope she knows that my husband did everything he could and that his heart broke along with hers that he couldn’t save her baby today. So I’m asking you, please be kind and be patient the next time you find yourself waiting in the emergency room for whatever reason…be kind to the techs, nurses, doctors…you don’t know what their last patient was or what that outcome was, just know that if it were you or your loved one, they would be fighting their hardest to keep you alive too.

Adulting and Relationships

I’ve noticed something happening within myself over the last little while. In November, I turned 40 and it seems like since then there has been a shift in my mind. Things are different. I don’t see everything the way I always did. Let’s see if I can make sense of what I mean…

When I was young, I remember thinking that 40 was so old…and not in a really mean or negative way, more like a dang, they are so mature and have it all figured out sort of way. I always assumed that your late teens and early 20’s were the time to have fun and be crazy and impulsive. In your late 20’s and into your 30’s you get more settled and start to ‘adult’ as it’s put today. Once you hit your late 30’s and into your 40’s, you had hit that point where you were set…you were settled in your career and your family, your relationships were well established and you knew what was up.

You were well into the ‘adulting’ portion of your life. There wouldn’t be anymore drama filled friendships or cutting people out of your life because of a disagreement. I mean, after all, by your 40’s you have been working on building or maintaining relationships with lots of different people. I’m sure for some people, this is exactly how their lives have gone…unfortunately, that is not how my life seems to be.

I’ve been married for well over a decade, I have two kids, I’m a daughter, sister, friend, niece, cousin…however, more of the relationships in my life are broken than not. Is it me? Is it them? Is it just personalities clashing and causing these rifts in so many of my relationships? I’ve heard a lot of people talking about ‘oh just walk away from relationships or people who no longer serve a purpose in your life’. Really? I mean, yes, there are definitely some relationships I would totally agree you just should walk away and not look back. There are others though that I just can’t get on board with your first response being to completely cut that person out of your life because there was a disagreement or because you don’t agree with everything that person does or says.

Let’s be honest here, I do know that I can be distant and closed off at times in relationships. I can be selfish and not really even think about the other person in the relationship and what they may be going through…but I can’t be the only one who does this though…am I just a really horrible person?

When did relationships become so disposable? I realize that people change and grow closer or grow apart, but in my mind, relationships should be something that is valued and given the room to grow and evolve before it’s just tossed away. I am sure that over the years, I’ve done my fair share of tossing relationships…tossing people aside. Because let’s be real, that’s what it is…when you decide that relationship no longer serves you, you’ve decided that PERSON is no longer important or of any value to you.

Wow, this got deep, fast!

I would love to think that I’m a great friend, sister, daughter, wife, mom, niece, cousin; just a great person in general. I do know that I am not without my flaws though and I’m sure that there have been situations in my life that I handled WAY wrong that cost me people…relationships. I’m not perfect. I’ve made wrong choices, I’ve not let people grow and evolve and instead continued to see them as the person they used to be instead of who they had become, I’ve had bad attitudes that have come out of my mouth in hurtful words that can’t be taken back.

Something that not many people know about me is that I don’t come from a big family, but I wish I did. I wish that I had close relationships with cousins and aunts/uncles, I wish that we had big, loud, crazy family dinners. As I got older, I wished more than anything that since I didn’t have that kind of family, that I would have those kinds of things with friends…for whatever reason, that’s not the reality of what my life is like. I do have friends, some I’d consider best friends, but none so close that we make getting together with our families a priority, or even just us getting together a priority. It’s more like we are just friends online…you know, as long as we have that internet connection, we are friends. You take that away and there’s no real relationship. It makes me sad and I feel like it’s probably mostly my fault. I don’t really let people in…by the time I’m ready to let them in they are tired of trying I guess…

I never claimed to be all sunshine and rainbows, in fact, I’m probably more dark and twisty than I’d ever admit to most people in real life. It’s hard to come to grips with the fact that you don’t have the relationships with people that you so wish you had, mostly because of your own shortcomings and issues.

So, to kind of wrap this up… there are some things I’m realizing about myself and am working on. Maybe it comes down to the golden rule after all…treat others how you want to be treated. If you want a friend, be a friend. Interesting. Hmm, apparently you can teach an old dog (me) new tricks 😉

Bikini Bodies

Bear with me guys, this might get a little rambly and off path a little, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about weight. Not necessarily weight…more like (mainly) women’s unhealthy obsession with weight. But I don’t even really think weight is the issue…it’s more what we look like, how big or small we are…why is there such an emphasis on our size? Why is this a thing? Like at what point did women start deciding that their value comes from how they look on the outside instead of the content of their character?

“If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.” – Maya Angelou

I don’t think I fit the societal norms here, to be honest. I am big, plus size, overweight, obese, morbidly obese, fat, whatever term you use for describing my size…however, I have NEVER seen myself as big as I actually am. I am confident in my body. Is it harder to do some things physically because of my size, I’m sure it is, but I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been the super tiny girl. I’ve always ‘had some meat on my bones’. Was it harder when I was dating, to be bigger than other girls my age? Nope, I never had trouble getting asked out or getting male attention. Do I have low self-esteem or self confidence because of my size? No, not really. I don’t find my self-worth in my dress size…sorry, not sorry that I don’t see myself as less than because I don’t fit what society has deemed as attractive and worthy all because the scale is a higher number than you are comfortable seeing.

Is this to say that I don’t place value on taking care of myself or eating healthy and moving? Heck no! What I am saying is that I don’t think it’s healthy for one to be so consumed with eating healthy and exercising for the sole purpose of losing weight as opposed to eating healthy and exercising because it’s good for you, no matter your size or the number on the scale. I’m pretty healthy, I have no medical issues that are typically attributed to being overweight (high bp, diabetes, circulation issues, high cholesterol) but people don’t see our medical records when they look at us, do they? They just look at me and see how big I am and automatically assume I must consume all the unhealthiest of foods and do nothing but sit on my butt.

weight does not determine worth

As I’ve scrolled through each of my social media accounts lately, it has struck me that even the most ‘healthy’ and fit, the thinnest people I know still aren’t happy with their bodies. Why? Who is telling you that you aren’t good enough? Why are you letting them? This isn’t even about body positivity to me right now. I do want every body to feel good about themselves, but when I think about it, I want everyone to feel good about themselves because they are happy in their life and relationships and career. I am definitely not trying to knock people who are proud of themselves for being the healthiest, most fit, strongest they have ever been because they are taking the time to work and push to accomplish things physically to test themselves. I think that is amazing and awesome! I just worry about the women who are out there killing themselves to attain a smaller size or smaller number on the scale just because they think that will make them happy or make other people happy.

“Work out because you love your body, not because you hate it” – Katie Goulet

I have many friends who have expressed feelings of not being confident to even wear a swimsuit, let a lone a bikini, because they have a belly, or thick thighs, or are just bigger than what society has told them is the appropriate size to be right now. Each time, the thing that comes to mind is how to get a bikini body….have a body, put a bikini on it, now you have a bikini body. I recently took this to heart and purchased a bikini. Not a tankini like has been my go to for the last 10ish years…but an actual bikini. And I love it. I feel confident in it. It makes me happy to wear it. And I hope that when my daughter sees me in it, she sees that she too can wear whatever makes her feel confident and beautiful and doesn’t let other peoples opinions get into her head and ruin her self image.

For a really long time, I followed the crowd – must lose weight so I can be more acceptable to everyone around me, must hide my body because no one wants to see a plus size woman in anything that shows any skin, must perpetuate the cycle of self hate because that’s what society tells women is normal behavior…I thought I was so fat, I thought I was unattractive, I thought I was unhealthy, I thought my value was tied into the number on the scale. In all of these old pictures of me, I thought I was so huge compared to my friends…what the hell was I on?! Looking at them now, I see a beautiful woman who was healthy and was the same size as all of her friends! All those years I spent hating myself, my body, because why?…I don’t even know at this point.

Do I say all of this to say that I never have moments of weakness now when I see a picture of myself and think, wow am I really that big? No, I totally have those moments but they don’t define me. The number on the scale doesn’t define me. I don’t have a single desire to lose weight so that people will find me easier to look at, or more worthy of their attention. I have a desire to be healthy and to work on loving all of myself, flaws and imperfections included. I’m not willing to hide for anyone anymore. My wish for every woman I know, is that she would see herself and love herself, as is. Stop the self hate, start loving yourself so we can stop the cycle of teaching our children to hate themselves if they don’t fit whatever society has deemed acceptable. <3

July Goals

Wow. No bs. No excuses guys. Blog hiatus game is strong! It was 6 months long and although it was completely unintentional, it was necessary. I’ve mentioned before that I suffer from anxiety and depression…I have since my late teens. I’ve managed it successfully without medication since my early 20’s (yeah, that’s about 20 years) but occasionally, it sneaks up on me and before I even know it’s happening I’m in it. That’s where I’ve been. I haven’t had a depression this deep and dark in YEARS and to be quite honest, I couldn’t stop this one. Usually I see the signs…I see it coming before it happens and I know how to prevent it from completely taking me over. This one…this one was so different. I know the exact moment, we were driving in the car and it was like a switch was flipped. Literally one second I was totally good and the very next second, I was gone. It was weeks before I even cared enough to acknowledge it. Depression is an ugly beast. As I have slowly come out of it and gotten back to me, I have started to find myself being drawn back into the things I love and that’s why I’m back here once again.

I thought since it’s the beginning of another new month, I’d jump right in with a welcome to July and share some of my goals for the month

Choose Happy

This one is super important to me right now. I know that happiness is a choice more than anything else. You can choose to be bitter and angry or you can choose to find happiness in the little things and joy in the moments of chaos. As a stay at home mama, there’s a lot more moments of chaos than I’d care to admit, I don’t always have everything all under control…my kids do run the house sometimes. Even in those moments when I feel like it’s all going to hell in a hand basket, there’s a moment of hilarity that I can find my happy and try to salvage a little bit of my sanity. Teenager and Threenager ain’t no joke y’all.

Do More Yoga

I find so much peace and calm in just taking 10 minutes to get some yoga in each day. I feel centered and strong. I am by no means an expert in yoga and I’m not even super great at it, but you know what’s awesome about yoga? You don’t have to be to benefit from it. Just start where you’re at! Start with one simple pose and build on that. There are a lot of great YouTube videos on yoga as well as a few different apps for like yoga daily with new poses to try. I highly recommend looking into yoga if you haven’t yet.

Budget Wisely

This one is a toughy for me. I am not a saver or budgeter by nature. I’m totally a spender, a shopper, an impulse buyer with very little buyers remorse…ever. lol I’m trying to get better at this and so it’s one of my goals for this month. To be better at setting and sticking to a budget. I’m not looking to get all crazy about it and go super strict at this point. Like, you people who do those ‘no buys’…I am sorry to say but I think y’all are nuts! haha

Take More Pictures

This one is pretty self explanatory I think, but I’ll elaborate. As moms, we are usually the ones taking lots of random little pics of our kids…the funny faces or other shenanigans they get into. I want to be more intentional about the pictures. Capturing more moments of my kids snuggling each other, or playing with their dad, or at the pool with me. I don’t just want to take pics of the rest of my family, I want to be IN those pictures with them! I want them to have photographic evidence that mama was there in that moment with them!

Be A Better Friend

I am almost positive this goal was also on my last goal post in January. This is something I know I am constantly needing to work on. I get really wrapped up in what I’m going through and dealing with that I tend to live my life with blinders on…only seeing what’s in my immediate line of sight. I don’t want to be that friend that we all have…the one who only talks to us when they need something, or when they need to vent not caring about what’s happening in our lives as long as we are there for whatever is going on in their life. I want to be the kind of friend who is always there to ask how the kids made out at the doctor, or what insane thing your husband did to annoy you or make you laugh. I want to make my friends feel important and HEARD…valued and appreciated for all the ways my life is enriched by them being in it. So I am pretty sure this is just going to be an ongoing goal because I don’t ever see me being such an amazing friend that I can stop working on being a better friend to my people.

Hustle

I haven’t mentioned this yet but I recently became an independent consultant with Perfectly Posh, don’t worry I’m not gonna start posting tons of sales type stuff, but one of my goals is definitely to share Posh. When I say hustle, I don’t just mean with Posh either. I mean, all of my interests and businesses. It’s time to get back to doing the things I really love and that bring me happiness…blogging, YouTube, and all things beauty!

So, those are my goals for the month…what are yours? I’d love to hear some things you are going to be working on this month and maybe we can help encourage each other. xo